Minding Your Q’s and Dealing with Disappointment

 

“We must first be skeptical and doubt everything, as we do in the modern world. Skepticism produces questions, questions lead to investigation…and investigation and experimentation bring answers” – Dalai Lama on What Matters Most, Conversations on Anger, Compassion, and Action

Last post I wrote about the “P’s” and doing a vision board. Vision may include sound. Sound is language, language is words and feeling. As a workshop enthusiast, one of the most inspiring group sessions I ever attended was with Barbara Marciniak, channeler of the “P’s” or the Pleiadians. What we did at the session was called toning. Hundreds of people basically hummed (chanted) one note in varying octaves for longer than five minutes. Talk about astro-planing your psyche. The result was powerful beyond words, an otherworldly yet familiar feeling of empowerment through sound. What I felt was an enormous level of affirmation similar to a religious experience I had as a child.

If that’s a bit much for you, I understand. Your mother or English teacher probably never instructed you on metaphysics when reminding you to be on your best behavior. As an angel practitioner and psychic medium, I love communicating with other realms. The result is always loving and supportive. Journal writing affects me the same way. You know it’s working because you feel good. Speaking of support, let’s talk about the Q’s.

The Q’s are about: quandary, questioning, query, and quiet.

     Quandary

• Who ever lived without facing some form of challenge or a dreaded situation? Dealing with problems is perhaps the only way to write about the raw truth. As I’ve shared previously, our granddaughter has cystic fibrosis. When we first heard about her diagnosis and had to face the reality that her little life and body were compromised, it took all my courage to stay strong. My husband is a polio survivor. Every movement has to be calculated. We can’t just go globe-trotting without major preparations. His legs don’t work like normal people. However, Jesse has one of the best attitudes of anyone I’ve ever met-and I learn so much from him about approaching life.

•  Questioning
  • Do you intuitively accept everything you hear or read? How do you decide whom or what to trust?
  • In blogging I’ve found that reviewing author’s books, participating in writing groups, and    constantly supporting others does not mean they will come back and support you. In fact, I’ve done Interviews and have been involved in “friendships,” only to find that the writers don’t even bother to respond on their own interviews, nor will they automatically follow your blog. Now I know better, and I’m stronger for it. People are competitive and self-involved; writers are no different from any other ambitious group. Moral of the story: stay positive.
  • Don’t get hung up on other people’s cliques. I asked one person four times to be a guest on my blog. It never happened. Another ‘spiritual’ person scoffed at someone who had less than 5000 followers on the internet. Get on down the road! Twitter, Facebook, Google + and other venues are not the only way to reach out to others. Believe in yourself. It takes time. Offer classes in person.
  •  Keep journaling. Stay with your craft.

• Query
  • Have you learned how to do a classic query letter? Who are the experts on this? Talk to as many people as you can and read about doing this important step.
• Quiet
  • Making time for silence and long periods of solitude are essential for self- development.
  • Entering silence can be done when physically in the presence of others. Example, read Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert, or Quiet by Susan Cain. I also like Emotional Freedom by Judith Orloff. She’s one of my favorite psychics, and an MD.
  • Sometimes it’s better to keep quiet.

Another aspect of quiet is calming the beastly inner critic. Banish your inside prissy, demanding, perfect boss. Guys have them too-one of my best friends told me. Men often have a fear of rejection, death or weakness. They  might not want to share openly. Sometimes what isn’t said speaks loudly.

Try a different perspective. If you’re a mechanic, go hang out at a garden club. If you’re a six figure income CEO, try volunteering in a senior center. Always had security? Try living at the cheapest, nastiest hotel you can find.

Find out what excites you.

Here’s one more Q:

Que, slang for “ what?” Say what?

• Maybe, just maybe, others don’t get you. Years ago I wrote a piece on driving a hybrid and the instructor had no idea what I was saying. Another student understood, but I felt bad because I thought the teacher would get it. Sometimes the issue is cultural, age-specific, or gender related. Don’t worry, somebody is going to be the perfect helper for you.
• Maybe you are in the wrong group! Go find another or start one.

So about support, if people aren’t readily available or responsive, just stay with it. Try a week in a different geographic setting. If you write in first person, try writing in third person.

Journal prompt: Which one of the “Q’s” interests you? Why? Do you enjoy ‘safe’ writing or raw writing? Pretend you are a famous critic evaluating your own work. Of course you are not Steven King or J.K. Rowling (I have the first four letters of the last name & have never read Harry Potter-but I really like her because she defied the odds), but just for a moment, pretend you are famous.

Write to yourself as a ‘nobody.’ Write yourself a rave review. How do you feel? Even if it seems ridiculous, try it anyway.

Do you have a strong writing or support group? Do you need one? Most writers will say you do. Did J. K. Rowling have a writing support group? I think she just WROTE. Are you afraid of constructive criticism? Are you honest with others about what you think of their writing? Write about who or what makes you feel like you belong. I find that artists are more accepting of other artists, than writers, for example. But that’s just me.

Discussion: Read, read, read. Reading is always my favorite way of dealing with lack of support or rejection. Right now my inner critic is on a roll, so my inner comedian wants to take over. It helps.

” For the first time in my life I was able to understand the meaning of the words, ‘ the angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory.’ ” -Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search For Meaning.

 

copyright © 2014 Susan E. Rowland